Life Evaluation

It's performance reviews again between July and Aug. I've just submitted my review list. This will be the first time I'm participating in a formal review process. It will be interesting how the result may turn out. I guess it's a good thing to let others evaluate yourself and get constructive feedback.

Same applies to life. Sometimes I am so busy in life that there never seem to be time to stop and evaluate life. Occasionally, something happen in someone's life and it triggers your thoughts on your own life - it makes you think, although it may not change anything, but at least it made me think. I guess my point is, my life is pretty dormant at this very moment in time and hence the thoughts of trying to evaluate my life and desire for some change.

As my previous post said, I should really let life design itself. But it's frustrating or even disappointing when you don't see the design taking shape no matter how many pencil strokes you've made.

I don't suppose I have the right to hate my life now and I must admit I don't think it's that bad to a point where I can claim life sucks. But there is just something that doesn't feel right. I wonder ...

And so Lily says ... "You can't design your life like a building, it doesn't work that way, you just have to live it and it will design itself ... Listen to what the world is telling you to do and take the leap" ...

Looking fwd to Spring

Winter has never felt so long and dreaded before. The cold started early this year and lasted for a bit. It's still cold now even though it's nearing end of March. But there is always some lovely things to spice up the winter gloom...just like stumbling on a dainty lil gelato place in the side streets of town...

I felt guilty of abandoning my blog for almost 2 months.

Updates...

And so they say, time flies when you are having fun. Undoubtedly I am enjoying the company of the BF very much for the past couple of months - minus the bitter moments of course :P. But hey, ain't it the fact that the sad times will make you cherish the happy times more? Or am I just being optimistic. But to be fair, I once believed that unhappy memories tend to be more vivid than happy ones, I'm thinking twice now. I confessed to the BF that our relationship is indeed like a roller coaster. One day we can really happy and over each other, the next day could be as gloomy as a winter morning. He agreed. I have no other complains :)

In Jan, I was pretty much spending most of the time recovering from an annoying cold and cough bug. It did took me over two weeks to completely recover. And the winter chills just add pain to the sick me. Anyhow, apart from skipping the gym sessions, weekends were quite productive - made a trip to Bicester Village and being so amazed with the good deals - loving it! - food wise, the mocha ribs in Tsunami, crispy thin organic pizzas from Story Deli and queuing at Breakfast Club for my banana and bacon french toast just made the month so much more exciting. Also paid a visit to The Forge after failing to book the 30 quid deal in Claridges :( - don't ever go to the Forge - everything is tasteless! Oh and also ... met the parents :P.

Went home for a week in Feb for Chinese New Year. Didn't really do much apart from seeing family and friends and eating of course - I really needed the break to chill - and wasn't as active as the last time I went home in terms of finding good food - guess I just wanted a break and see family etc. - guess that's sign of aging? - or maybe just too stressed out of city life =.=. Well apart from eating, I did spend half a day at the Spa - another very much needed thing in my break! - such good Balinese massage for my overworked shoulders! Well, sitting in front of the PC with two massive monitors staring at you for 8 hours a day is just an abuse! Drove to Ipoh as well - just to prove my driving skills have not gone rusty :). Had a couple of drinks at the Sky Bar - very nice indeed. Oh and the Singapore Airlines plane food was quite interesting as well - they had Yu Sang and this "lin chi" + mandarin orange jelly which is very nice! I guess the nice food make up for the rescheduling of my flight from KL to SG without me knowing till the day before flying!

By the time I was back in London, it's already past Valentines. But we "celebrated" the week after ... avoid the crowd and cut throat meals! That said, we did made our own candle light dinner and had a very nice French lunch at Clois Maggoire.

Well, first valentines is always memorable and I wonder if the ones to come will be as memorable since it might not be as special anymore ...

Paid a visit to the Plough in Bedford again after last year's visit. They have really good desserts!

Highly recommended!

I guess highlight this month - March will be the surprise the BF planned for our anniversary. I was told we are going dinner but I don't know where. Turns out it was Pearl. Had a really lovely evening and the dinner is really good - love the place :))).

"Love makes you cry your heart out but it can also make you laugh out loud..."

The weather seems to be progressively getting warmer - hope I don't jinx it! So looking forward to Spring, the flowers, the dresses and also hopefully more things to do around town!

Have been spending some time looking for flats - tentatively moving out end of May - and so they say, moving is one of the top 3 most stressful things in life. Luck and stamina is all I needed now! And hopefully my bosses won't be too particular about me on the phone talking to agents all the time! Well I hope staying late on a Friday night and working on some of the weekends make up for it! Work is just overwhelming these days...

...and so that is city life for Nico...

Bunny Chow :)

Feeling Poetic

If there is one thing in the world that triggers Nico's emotional turbulent nature, it would be the occasional conversations with the dearest mummy. I must say, almost every mum in the world never fails to remind you of the things you should be doing next in your life. And this makes Nico ponders about life again.

Sometimes you feel loved...

You smiled and cherished the company of your loved ones...

Sometimes you hated and cried...

That is the times when you enemied the entire world...

And then material came on stage...

He tries to pollute feelings...

Backed by the bonus pay cheque you earned...

With sweat and hard work...

He made feelings worthless...

Feelings fight back with priceless as its ultimate weapon...

Reality interrupts, tries to find peace and dissolve the dispute

...

So what does life means to you?

Where have the year gone

After an almost 10 adequate days of no work, chilling out and spending time with loved ones, Nico already envisioned herself having the holiday withdrawal syndrome by bed time tonight.

So what have I been up to in Nov and Dec 2010 -

Started off Nov with a weekend getaway to Milan. We booked about 2 months in advanced and got ourselves a 160 quid package for easyjet + 4 star hotel mediolanum package from Expedia - pretty good deal. Milan is not that big a city. The only magnificent building and the prettiest sight in town has to be the Duomo in central. Spent the first day going around thecity visiting the duomo piazza, galleria vittorio emanuele ii, had GROM gelato, aperitivo and take a detour to naviglio grande which turns out to be quite dead and not as scenic as we thought - the economy in Europe definitely has an impact in this fashionable city. Take a day trip out to Lake Como which is really beautiful. We had lunch by the lake - the octopus carpaccio was heavenly :)). Got back into town in time to grab tickets to the Inter Milan match at San Siro. I've never watched a match live in my life - this is the first. And of course I am not as enthusiastic as *someone* but it makes me happy when others are. The following day is reserved for exploring the Fashion District - Montenapoleone - where all the designer brands are - unfortunately it was a Sunday and thus most of the shops were shut - well not like I was planning on grabbing a Gucci bag or Prada heels anyway :P.

Rest of month and the following were spent on going to farewell drinks and parties, dinners with

friends, christmas lunches and dinners with colleagues, constructive time spent with the BF - cooking or / and dining out - Taste of Christmas @ Excel, Dovetail, Koya, Byron

and of course Pearl Liang to "celebrate" the first day we know each other (lol) :) etc.

By the end of Nov, the weather turned evil. It started snowing early this year and weather has not been warmer since. Although I enjoyed the pretty sight of the snow, slush and ice are the worst aftermath.

And then comes christmas - the long awaited vacation.

Had a lovely time just chilling out with the BF ... watching dvds, playing Sims, baking savoury muffins and had 2 attempts on

the japanese cheese cake, roast a turkey for our christmas dinner and had the turkey leftovers for the next 3 days, attempt to make Nico's best scrambled eggs :P, roasting chestnuts and be a chipmunk (chestnut sponge cake from royal china is really yummy :)), grabbing some after xmas sales deals and shopping with friends, bratwurst, mulled wine and profiteroles from the Winter Wonderland Christmas Market, New Year's Eve dinner @ Mahgreb Moroccan Place up the road, 50% off food bill for lunch @ Tsunami, and finally, taking care of the ill BF and paying a visit to the A&E first time in my life!

All in all, I am not sure if I have made any progress in thinking of the direction of Nico's life this year. But there are some vague resolutions across the horizon for the new year ahead and perhaps Nico would like to think that she has matured in one way or another :). Someone says happiness is only real when shared. I'd say fun is only real when shared :). Finally, Nico would like to wish you all a very happy new year, be strong and however lost you are, just remember to follow the "light" ;).

Post Summer Update

I have abandoned by blog again, I must confessed. I suppose it's not too bad a crime since it just shows how busy I was the past few weeks.

Rewinding...

October had been a busy month indeed. To start off, my trip to India, a total eye opening trip which pretty much changed my perception of the world a little bit ... yea just a little :P. I won't say I will not go back, in fact, I hope the next time I do go back, I'll see a much better state of the country. The trip does make me realise why ppl like Gandhi and Mother Teresa exists. It's a completely different world out there. And I now have greater motivation to do more charity work :P ... yet to be one of my new year resolution !

Rest of the October? ...

Highlight was welcoming The BF home :) ...

Had a lovely welcoming back lunch at Artisan, The Westbury ...

Such an amazing deal due to London's Restaurant Week ... such a brilliant meal with N numbers of complimentary dishes.

Busy busy at work,

Had been doing weekend releases for the last 3 weeks including today... stayed in the office till 10pm for the first time, due to waiting for Chicago users to finish testing ... Got myself a mentor which I haven't been that good at keeping in touch with yet ... finally had a chance to try out the massive cafeteria at RC ... and of course, welcoming the grand new opening of One New Change, a mall a couple of mins walk from my office!!! More lunch time shopping! Wohoo! ... etc ...

Finally bought the iphone!!!

But haven't have much time to play with it yet due to work commitments ... how sad ... but enjoying the fact that I have now unlimited text on my tariff...

And I don't need to get the new nano :P ...

Other stuff ... had been going to quite a few of the stuff going on in London while it's still summer - Thames Festival, Design week - Tent London, Matsuri Festival and then ex-colleague's leaving due ... who is quitting to go travelling in the down under ... surprised how many had started leaving after I left ... felt strange to see my other ex-colleagues again ... just like the old days ... still couldn't have imagined how I stayed 4 years back in old Hatfield, LZ's visit in London again ...had a brief catch up during lunch near St. Pauls. Friend's birthday parties ... food overloaded, wedding invites which I have to politely decline invitation of although I would have very much loved to attend - sounds like it's a good wed month!, cooked rendang for The BF ... my second attempt on the dish ... I'm yet to perfect it!, made red bean and coconut milk agar - agar to a pot luck party ... etc etc ...

Got another hair cut and colour touch up yesterday ....

Next stop...MILAN! and of course, XMAS ! ... stay tuned ;)

9 years...90 days

Today mark the 9th year I have been in the UK. I arrived Heathrow 9 years ago today, filled with anxiety and uncertainty, just like a kitten about to be let loose into the world of independence - almost unwillingly because of a tinge of fear for being away from home.

Still remember vividly the smell of fresh yet chilly and foreign breath of air as I stepped out of the arrival hall. Now that I am sitting comfortably in my lovely Ikea eggy chair in my flat in London, recalling those very moments, I couldn't deny how much things have changed, personally and also everything else around me.

The news coverage airing on the hotel room TV couldn't have been more dramatic that day - and that definitely changed pretty much a lot of things in the world. As for me, I realised I've signed up for a never ending road trip...to independence and more uncertainties. But I am glad that the fear had subsided and these 9 precious years have definitely trained me well to be stronger me - or at least I would like to think that I have :).

The computer log on screen at work had been counting down the days for me too. Today is also the 90th day since I started my new job. It's just a wonder how amazing one can adapt to life.

The 30 minute walk to work that I thought could be dreadful has become somewhat a refreshing activity to wake me up every morning. The apprehension of being in a completely new and different environment has somewhat become all so familiar. The heavier work load (sometimes) and longer hours (only by a bit) are not as bad as it seems - the mocha from the tea point's coffee machine, lunch by the fountain in the square and okonomiyaki from wasabi almost manage to cheer me up most of the time.

It also feels so surreal yet to walk out of the office and realise I am actually surrounded by the majestic St Paul's cathedral and Victorian buildings blending in with the glassy contemporary office buildings. It feels uptown, if not pretentious. But it always never fails to remind myself that I've bagged another piece of valuable experience to my collection.

So hey, let's drive on...