Life Evaluation

It's performance reviews again between July and Aug. I've just submitted my review list. This will be the first time I'm participating in a formal review process. It will be interesting how the result may turn out. I guess it's a good thing to let others evaluate yourself and get constructive feedback.

Same applies to life. Sometimes I am so busy in life that there never seem to be time to stop and evaluate life. Occasionally, something happen in someone's life and it triggers your thoughts on your own life - it makes you think, although it may not change anything, but at least it made me think. I guess my point is, my life is pretty dormant at this very moment in time and hence the thoughts of trying to evaluate my life and desire for some change.

As my previous post said, I should really let life design itself. But it's frustrating or even disappointing when you don't see the design taking shape no matter how many pencil strokes you've made.

I don't suppose I have the right to hate my life now and I must admit I don't think it's that bad to a point where I can claim life sucks. But there is just something that doesn't feel right. I wonder ...

And so Lily says ... "You can't design your life like a building, it doesn't work that way, you just have to live it and it will design itself ... Listen to what the world is telling you to do and take the leap" ...

Looking fwd to Spring

Winter has never felt so long and dreaded before. The cold started early this year and lasted for a bit. It's still cold now even though it's nearing end of March. But there is always some lovely things to spice up the winter gloom...just like stumbling on a dainty lil gelato place in the side streets of town...

I felt guilty of abandoning my blog for almost 2 months.

Updates...

And so they say, time flies when you are having fun. Undoubtedly I am enjoying the company of the BF very much for the past couple of months - minus the bitter moments of course :P. But hey, ain't it the fact that the sad times will make you cherish the happy times more? Or am I just being optimistic. But to be fair, I once believed that unhappy memories tend to be more vivid than happy ones, I'm thinking twice now. I confessed to the BF that our relationship is indeed like a roller coaster. One day we can really happy and over each other, the next day could be as gloomy as a winter morning. He agreed. I have no other complains :)

In Jan, I was pretty much spending most of the time recovering from an annoying cold and cough bug. It did took me over two weeks to completely recover. And the winter chills just add pain to the sick me. Anyhow, apart from skipping the gym sessions, weekends were quite productive - made a trip to Bicester Village and being so amazed with the good deals - loving it! - food wise, the mocha ribs in Tsunami, crispy thin organic pizzas from Story Deli and queuing at Breakfast Club for my banana and bacon french toast just made the month so much more exciting. Also paid a visit to The Forge after failing to book the 30 quid deal in Claridges :( - don't ever go to the Forge - everything is tasteless! Oh and also ... met the parents :P.

Went home for a week in Feb for Chinese New Year. Didn't really do much apart from seeing family and friends and eating of course - I really needed the break to chill - and wasn't as active as the last time I went home in terms of finding good food - guess I just wanted a break and see family etc. - guess that's sign of aging? - or maybe just too stressed out of city life =.=. Well apart from eating, I did spend half a day at the Spa - another very much needed thing in my break! - such good Balinese massage for my overworked shoulders! Well, sitting in front of the PC with two massive monitors staring at you for 8 hours a day is just an abuse! Drove to Ipoh as well - just to prove my driving skills have not gone rusty :). Had a couple of drinks at the Sky Bar - very nice indeed. Oh and the Singapore Airlines plane food was quite interesting as well - they had Yu Sang and this "lin chi" + mandarin orange jelly which is very nice! I guess the nice food make up for the rescheduling of my flight from KL to SG without me knowing till the day before flying!

By the time I was back in London, it's already past Valentines. But we "celebrated" the week after ... avoid the crowd and cut throat meals! That said, we did made our own candle light dinner and had a very nice French lunch at Clois Maggoire.

Well, first valentines is always memorable and I wonder if the ones to come will be as memorable since it might not be as special anymore ...

Paid a visit to the Plough in Bedford again after last year's visit. They have really good desserts!

Highly recommended!

I guess highlight this month - March will be the surprise the BF planned for our anniversary. I was told we are going dinner but I don't know where. Turns out it was Pearl. Had a really lovely evening and the dinner is really good - love the place :))).

"Love makes you cry your heart out but it can also make you laugh out loud..."

The weather seems to be progressively getting warmer - hope I don't jinx it! So looking forward to Spring, the flowers, the dresses and also hopefully more things to do around town!

Have been spending some time looking for flats - tentatively moving out end of May - and so they say, moving is one of the top 3 most stressful things in life. Luck and stamina is all I needed now! And hopefully my bosses won't be too particular about me on the phone talking to agents all the time! Well I hope staying late on a Friday night and working on some of the weekends make up for it! Work is just overwhelming these days...

...and so that is city life for Nico...

Bunny Chow :)

Feeling Poetic

If there is one thing in the world that triggers Nico's emotional turbulent nature, it would be the occasional conversations with the dearest mummy. I must say, almost every mum in the world never fails to remind you of the things you should be doing next in your life. And this makes Nico ponders about life again.

Sometimes you feel loved...

You smiled and cherished the company of your loved ones...

Sometimes you hated and cried...

That is the times when you enemied the entire world...

And then material came on stage...

He tries to pollute feelings...

Backed by the bonus pay cheque you earned...

With sweat and hard work...

He made feelings worthless...

Feelings fight back with priceless as its ultimate weapon...

Reality interrupts, tries to find peace and dissolve the dispute

...

So what does life means to you?

Where have the year gone

After an almost 10 adequate days of no work, chilling out and spending time with loved ones, Nico already envisioned herself having the holiday withdrawal syndrome by bed time tonight.

So what have I been up to in Nov and Dec 2010 -

Started off Nov with a weekend getaway to Milan. We booked about 2 months in advanced and got ourselves a 160 quid package for easyjet + 4 star hotel mediolanum package from Expedia - pretty good deal. Milan is not that big a city. The only magnificent building and the prettiest sight in town has to be the Duomo in central. Spent the first day going around thecity visiting the duomo piazza, galleria vittorio emanuele ii, had GROM gelato, aperitivo and take a detour to naviglio grande which turns out to be quite dead and not as scenic as we thought - the economy in Europe definitely has an impact in this fashionable city. Take a day trip out to Lake Como which is really beautiful. We had lunch by the lake - the octopus carpaccio was heavenly :)). Got back into town in time to grab tickets to the Inter Milan match at San Siro. I've never watched a match live in my life - this is the first. And of course I am not as enthusiastic as *someone* but it makes me happy when others are. The following day is reserved for exploring the Fashion District - Montenapoleone - where all the designer brands are - unfortunately it was a Sunday and thus most of the shops were shut - well not like I was planning on grabbing a Gucci bag or Prada heels anyway :P.

Rest of month and the following were spent on going to farewell drinks and parties, dinners with

friends, christmas lunches and dinners with colleagues, constructive time spent with the BF - cooking or / and dining out - Taste of Christmas @ Excel, Dovetail, Koya, Byron

and of course Pearl Liang to "celebrate" the first day we know each other (lol) :) etc.

By the end of Nov, the weather turned evil. It started snowing early this year and weather has not been warmer since. Although I enjoyed the pretty sight of the snow, slush and ice are the worst aftermath.

And then comes christmas - the long awaited vacation.

Had a lovely time just chilling out with the BF ... watching dvds, playing Sims, baking savoury muffins and had 2 attempts on

the japanese cheese cake, roast a turkey for our christmas dinner and had the turkey leftovers for the next 3 days, attempt to make Nico's best scrambled eggs :P, roasting chestnuts and be a chipmunk (chestnut sponge cake from royal china is really yummy :)), grabbing some after xmas sales deals and shopping with friends, bratwurst, mulled wine and profiteroles from the Winter Wonderland Christmas Market, New Year's Eve dinner @ Mahgreb Moroccan Place up the road, 50% off food bill for lunch @ Tsunami, and finally, taking care of the ill BF and paying a visit to the A&E first time in my life!

All in all, I am not sure if I have made any progress in thinking of the direction of Nico's life this year. But there are some vague resolutions across the horizon for the new year ahead and perhaps Nico would like to think that she has matured in one way or another :). Someone says happiness is only real when shared. I'd say fun is only real when shared :). Finally, Nico would like to wish you all a very happy new year, be strong and however lost you are, just remember to follow the "light" ;).

Post Summer Update

I have abandoned by blog again, I must confessed. I suppose it's not too bad a crime since it just shows how busy I was the past few weeks.

Rewinding...

October had been a busy month indeed. To start off, my trip to India, a total eye opening trip which pretty much changed my perception of the world a little bit ... yea just a little :P. I won't say I will not go back, in fact, I hope the next time I do go back, I'll see a much better state of the country. The trip does make me realise why ppl like Gandhi and Mother Teresa exists. It's a completely different world out there. And I now have greater motivation to do more charity work :P ... yet to be one of my new year resolution !

Rest of the October? ...

Highlight was welcoming The BF home :) ...

Had a lovely welcoming back lunch at Artisan, The Westbury ...

Such an amazing deal due to London's Restaurant Week ... such a brilliant meal with N numbers of complimentary dishes.

Busy busy at work,

Had been doing weekend releases for the last 3 weeks including today... stayed in the office till 10pm for the first time, due to waiting for Chicago users to finish testing ... Got myself a mentor which I haven't been that good at keeping in touch with yet ... finally had a chance to try out the massive cafeteria at RC ... and of course, welcoming the grand new opening of One New Change, a mall a couple of mins walk from my office!!! More lunch time shopping! Wohoo! ... etc ...

Finally bought the iphone!!!

But haven't have much time to play with it yet due to work commitments ... how sad ... but enjoying the fact that I have now unlimited text on my tariff...

And I don't need to get the new nano :P ...

Other stuff ... had been going to quite a few of the stuff going on in London while it's still summer - Thames Festival, Design week - Tent London, Matsuri Festival and then ex-colleague's leaving due ... who is quitting to go travelling in the down under ... surprised how many had started leaving after I left ... felt strange to see my other ex-colleagues again ... just like the old days ... still couldn't have imagined how I stayed 4 years back in old Hatfield, LZ's visit in London again ...had a brief catch up during lunch near St. Pauls. Friend's birthday parties ... food overloaded, wedding invites which I have to politely decline invitation of although I would have very much loved to attend - sounds like it's a good wed month!, cooked rendang for The BF ... my second attempt on the dish ... I'm yet to perfect it!, made red bean and coconut milk agar - agar to a pot luck party ... etc etc ...

Got another hair cut and colour touch up yesterday ....

Next stop...MILAN! and of course, XMAS ! ... stay tuned ;)

9 years...90 days

Today mark the 9th year I have been in the UK. I arrived Heathrow 9 years ago today, filled with anxiety and uncertainty, just like a kitten about to be let loose into the world of independence - almost unwillingly because of a tinge of fear for being away from home.

Still remember vividly the smell of fresh yet chilly and foreign breath of air as I stepped out of the arrival hall. Now that I am sitting comfortably in my lovely Ikea eggy chair in my flat in London, recalling those very moments, I couldn't deny how much things have changed, personally and also everything else around me.

The news coverage airing on the hotel room TV couldn't have been more dramatic that day - and that definitely changed pretty much a lot of things in the world. As for me, I realised I've signed up for a never ending road trip...to independence and more uncertainties. But I am glad that the fear had subsided and these 9 precious years have definitely trained me well to be stronger me - or at least I would like to think that I have :).

The computer log on screen at work had been counting down the days for me too. Today is also the 90th day since I started my new job. It's just a wonder how amazing one can adapt to life.

The 30 minute walk to work that I thought could be dreadful has become somewhat a refreshing activity to wake me up every morning. The apprehension of being in a completely new and different environment has somewhat become all so familiar. The heavier work load (sometimes) and longer hours (only by a bit) are not as bad as it seems - the mocha from the tea point's coffee machine, lunch by the fountain in the square and okonomiyaki from wasabi almost manage to cheer me up most of the time.

It also feels so surreal yet to walk out of the office and realise I am actually surrounded by the majestic St Paul's cathedral and Victorian buildings blending in with the glassy contemporary office buildings. It feels uptown, if not pretentious. But it always never fails to remind myself that I've bagged another piece of valuable experience to my collection.

So hey, let's drive on...

Counselling oneself

The 8th of June 2010 me reminded me to live life as it is. How ironic the past me is the most effective counsellor...

I really hope I can convince myself to do better...

Re Mdm Yap's comment, thank you for the moral support! We'll fight this battle together and remember to just shout when you needed anything. I might be across the Atlantic, but the sound of friendship travels faster than any other things in the universe!

The dreading 3rd week of July

Last w/e spent productively in my continued mission to hunt down bargains for all so needed work clothes before the summer sales ends. Met up with LZ and her bro who was in London for the w/e and had dinner at Dehesa. Too bad we didn't have enough time to fit in a homey Msian meal as they wanted to.

Also allocated slots in my w/e s to VC with the BF. LD is definitely not new to me. But for some reason, I felt it being so much harder than my previous experience. Am I being more needy now? Has it got anything to do with aging maybe? LOL...or is it actually a good sign that I am feeling so? This month, admittedly, seems to be the longest month I've ever been in - firstly I am still waiting for this month's pay to feel I am in a better position financially - since I am still recovering from all the move etc, secondly, I am so looking fwd to Oct to come. Tbh, I don't think I am able to do LD anymore. I blame it on the age, or maybe bad experience :P.

This w/e was Ottolenghi brunch and Inception after with hsemate. Again, food lovers like us tend to make the same mistake of over ordering again and again and again. I had the Egg and Courgette bake which was really good! Packed the rest of the bread board that we couldn't have finish. But too bad we can't really bring the jar of yummy banana jam home :). During the movie, there was a few minutes of interruption. Initially we thought it was part of the show, but apparently it was a genuine fault of the cinema. After the show, they gave us a free voucher to claim a free ticket next time due to the inconvenience. Nice! The movie was quite good. A very interesting concept indeed! Aww now I want to design my own dreams!

Also went up to MK to collect and sort out mails for the BF. Wandered around MK Shopping centre for an hour or so before heading back to LDN. One exciting discovery though is that I found Kookai!!! I miss it so much now that they don't have any in LDN. That said, I didn't get anything - I need to clear out my cc bill first!

The week had been ok at work. Went to a couple of talks - pensions, technology community update and performance reviews etc. Only visited the gym twice this week. Aiming to do 3 next week :). Had lunch with a bunch of other new joiners on Wed and a another bunch of summer interns on Thurs. I guess that is the advantage of working in a bigger company, more events, more people, more opportunities to do different things - instead of sitting in front of the screen programming 8 hours a day. I have more thoughts than this, but I don't think I should go into details - the only thing I would like to remind myself is that, I've come too far to slack off - it's time to continue climbing the ever so high fleet of stairs after a good rest. A good cup of 'yin yeung' is what I need to keep on pushing!

Last post, I mentioned I have been thinking a lot of what I am actually doing with my life now. It's surprising how many other ppl I've talked to are feeling the same. I know at least I am not alone. But I do wish these dear friends of mine will find their 'direction' of life some day soon. If there is a meteor to visit this part of the earth tonight, I will wish for that one day when everything just fits and fall into place nicely...

*The 'fertitily' tarot card says I should be patient. I guess it's a good enough piece of advice to stay happy. Pressure from external forces can be suffocating some times. But from an optimist's point of view, these forces do inject a reasonable amount of motivation and project positive energy to a certain degree.

A random peek into my life...

W/e spent with a lovely brunch @ the Breakfast Club in Hoxton with couz and frens, a random stroll around spitalfields mrkt, a discovery of Thai Ann oriental supermarket right off Chapel Market, and of course, the World Cup finals...I am enjoying the trips down to Chapel Market to pick up some cheap and fresh produce...Wonder when I will get bored on London...

4 working weeks down, and the challenges of work is significantly increasing. How I wish I will wake up one day knowing everything about the financial markets! I heard a lot of ppl telling me it will just click one day. I am still eagerly anticipating that one day to come ... asap!

It's that day in life where I have time to ponder about life again. Some times I still wonder what I am doing with my life.

It's that feeling that you've longing to buy that all so expensive pair of heels displayed on the window of that vintage boutique shop. And then you finally saved enough to bring it home, wore it the first time for that special night, and neatly place it back into the wooden chest shoe box that comes with it... then what's next...This is how I felt July 2010, after everything that has had happened the first half of the year. Classic...it's the classic feeling of desire and "disinclination"...

Work and weekends,

Can life be more meaningful that this?

Family so distant, friendship so fragile,

Is that sign of growing up and taking responsibility for oneself?

Wedding invites, baby showers,

Am I just being the tortoise in the race with the hare?

Wishes under the meteor that came true,

Are they a blessing or otherwise?

...now back to short selling and ex dividend dates...

June 2010

Almost a month since I've moved in my new place now. I can say I think I have now filled in all the 'incompleteness' of my room today after a brief second trip to Ikea :). I finally got the chair I always wanted!!! :)))

3rd week into my new job ... everything's ok so far I'd say. Quite proud of myself to be so motivated to walk to work everyday. Had been trying out different routes to beat my 27 minutes, but with no avail so far. On the bright side, I am also starting to explore the area a lil more. For e.g, Necco Jap Cafe discovery made my Friday evening! I do enjoy the convenience of the city and the benefits working in such an established organisation - all the training and subsidised incentives! But of course, it's not without any hard work - all that I am looking fwd too (yea right :P)

A week to the BF not around. Time just seem to pass so slowly... October seems so far away :(. All of a sudden I felt all so lonely again (some times) - you can so tell when I have time to update my blog :P

All in all June 2010 were filled with QT with the BF, celebrating birthdays, BBQ, watching footie, summer sales shopping, soaking in the sunshine, although not quite enjoying the heat that much, trying to settle in life working in the city and wearing skirts to work of course :P

Mid 2010

Birthday + Bank holiday weekend was spent at the Foodies Festival at Hampton Court on Sat in which the main highlight was meeting Jason Atherton and having him signed his new book for me!!! The weather was unwelcoming, the festival wasn't as happening as I expected, but meeting Jason Atherton just made my day. Got back to London later in the afternoon and met up with Holly for dinner at Sushi Hiroba - had the weirdest sushi ever in my life - the place certainly has a very interesting sushi line up, ranging from sushi with banana to fried ones.

Started the Sunday with a girlie salon trip and lunch at Le Pain. Thanks Holly for the lunch treat :). Shopped for a bit before meeting up with the BF and had bubble tea at China town (well I had red bean ice to be exact :P). Having some spare time before dinner, we manage to fit SATC 2 into our afternoon - unexpectedly. It was quite a decent movie, I have no complains. But watching it with a girlfriend and a boyfriend is just not the most ideal cinema trip, enough said :P. Birthday dinner was at Eastside Inn. Wanted to try this new place out for a long time and it didn't dissapoint - highly recommended!!!!

The following week was my last week at work. Didn't have much to do but had quite sinful meals- fish and chips take away at a colleague's place on Thurs, Lahore Kebab House dinner with new colleagues and Red Lion on Friday. Got a 10 inch digital photo frame and a couple of John Lewis vouchers as my leaving gift. Such thoughtful colleagues :P. The weekend was then spent moving things into my new flat. I was quite impressed with myself having to finish unpacking in a day! Went back to Hatfield to clean up my room etc today and am quite tired myself after all the packing, moving and unpacking. A full day spa will be a real treat for me now!

Tonight is the 3rd night in my new flat. Everything's quite ok. The little little things I would complain about but think I shouldn't are - well first thing on top of the list is the traffic noise from outside. My room is facing the main road and it can be quite noisy especially those sierens! Can Londoners be a bit considerate and try to reduce the frequency of being drunk and beaten up less often? :P. Other small little things are like if only the toilet flush has higher pressure and if only the carpets are a lot more cleaner. Well, I do understand its not new. Anyways, everything seems ok for the time being. I just need to get some curtains and more textiles / cushions to absorb the noise! Any other advice welcomed!

Although London isn't new to me, to be actually living in the city is definitely something I need to adapt to. A country girl like me still kind of prefer the quiet and peaceful little towns like Hatfield :P.

Some Nico's philosophy after this couple of weeks:...

There has been so much things happening around me the past two weeks, and I suppose more to come in the following weeks, and there are occassions where I feel I've lost myself for a bit. I thought I have a clear direction on what I want to achieve. But there seems to be other external forces that are distracting me, be it good or bad. The devil in me is not helping either. I also realised how hard it is to please everyone around you especially when they don't see the situation as a whole as you do. I found myself being nagged on things lately, small little things in life by my closed ones. But what they don't understand is that although they are part of my world, they don't see it how I see it. Sometimes they just have to know that I am old enough to make my own judgements on what I should or should not be doing. I do need advice from time to time, but when I am not asking for it, I am quite definite it's a right thing for me.

Things to remind myself:

Life's too short to worry about the missing jigsaw pieces or the pieces that just don't fit. Friends who are impartial to your life can say whatevever they want whether it is sincerely from the bottom of their heart or vice versa. At the end of the day, the decision is yours. Decide and never regret! Take things lightly Nico! Live life as it is and enjoy the moment!

Turning 28

At 28 I learnt that this is a fair life I am living in, when you gain something, you lost something along the way. Things happen when you least expected it. At the same time, what you wish for might not be the best for you after all...

Another Piece of Nico's Philosophy

I have not been updating my blog that frequently this month. I suppose it's a good thing as well because that means I am actually busy occupied by other things that are happening around me.

...*rewind to where I left my blog*...

Finally got my Tier 1 visa approved and got my passport back around the 10th. It was the Monday that I had to bring myself to say I am quitting my current job. It's not easy, but it wasn't hard as I thought it would be either :).

Met up with CM and JJ for dinner @ Hereford Road, Bayswater after work on Wed. Their menu were very adventurous indeed. The pigeon I had for mains is ok. And also tried a lil bit of JJ's calf's brain. It was not that bad, just tasted deep fried jelly :P. But need to thank JJ for the dinner since its on his treat for my BD :)

Spent the following weekend with the BF after the whole 3 weeks not seeing him and missing him dearly...had dim sum lunch, ice cream @ patisserie valerie, Iron Man 2 and then Thai for dinner - another w/e norm for me these days. Not for long any more though...

Weekdays were spent productively sorting out my room, clearing out 4 years worth of clutter. Felt a bit 'ng seh tak' to part with most "junk" that have been with me since I came to the UK - 9 years! But it needs be done. Most of the old clothes, shoes and bags are now in the clothes bank. That said, I am no where ready to move! Only managed to throw away a lot of stuff and got some empty boxes from the shops in the Galleria.

Last weekend was a very good w/e. Never had such a special weekend for a long time :))). Took a day off on Friday and spent the first half of the day with the BF and then started our road trip - direction - North East towards Norwich. Stayed at his friend's house who is living there with his wife. Such a nice couple and really appreciate them for accommodating us. It is a very quiet area - totally out of the city - can you imagine living somewhere without phone reception? And the only thing around you is lovely big green fields, inviting and chilling al fresco english pubs and friendly, polite people who are actually generous enough to return your smile :). Got there around 6ish and then headed out to a local pub for dinner. I had a fish platter which is not bad. The BF's lamb shoulder is soooooo much nicer.

Spent the next day boating for a good couple of hours at the Norfolk Broads. I think we were at Horning...Lovely weather, driving a boat (although a small one), dodging ducks, a pint of beer, a couple of pretty shots and a homey BBQ after made my day :). The weather is super kind to us. The hottest weekend ever so far this year! It is also a big factor to how pretty my photos turn out to be :). I'd say the best meal have to be the Sunday lunch at the Birds in Hand pub. The crab I ordered were super yummy :))) and of course the bailey's cheesecake! All in all a w/e well spent, enjoyed the laughs at breakfast, the company and most of all the surprise from my dearest :). How can Nico ask for more :)))...Photos in my picasa album :)

It's 3 days to Nico turning a year older. I'd say I have been holding on to the 2010 luck quite well so far. The BF said when something is meant to be, they will just fit into your life. I guess it's quite true. When things are meant to happen, they just do. Plus, so far, there are a lot of changes in my life the first half of the year but at the same time these things trickle through slowly and I suppose it's a good thing as I also get the time to adapt to them. Although I am not looking forward to turning 28, I don't see why I should be depressed or complain about it either.

...now...need to move my ass and start packing again....what a dreadful task!

2nd May w/e - A Step Forward

The weekend weather is a bit unfriendly. Anyhow, went to meet JL for lunch near his service apartment, just in time to say goodbye to him before he flies back to sunny SG. Had a chicken burger and oreo's milkshake at Byron, Glouster Road. I still thinks it is a bit overrated by food bloggers. To do Fine Burger Co. justice that is. Dropped by Real Food Festival at Earl's Court. There were quite a lot of stalls set up. Some brands I've not even heard before. Products range from chocolates, wine, cheese, sausages, spices, sauces, beverages etc etc. I've only bought two packs of Teapigs tea - a chocolate flake tea and a jasmine pearl! Am tempted to buy the matcha too but thought it's a bit over priced at £20 for a small bottle. I wonder if it is that effective since it claims to detox and help weight loss! Wonder how is it different from normal Japanese matcha too. Hmm.

Had a pretty chilled out Sunday too although I woke up super early like 7am! Lingered a bit before heading for the gym to burn off yesterday's lunch and food tasting at the festival. Met up with CM to check out the Puppet festival at Covent. Watched Punch and Judy for a bit. Felt a bit out of place since most of the people there went with their kids and stuff. After a Le Pain moccacino, I headed home and started pondering...

I am already feeling the Monday Blues creeping in. In fact, am mentally preparing myself for the next step ahead. The hurdle that I've been anticipating for a while, one of the biggest yet.

I realised how 'emo' I have been the past few weeks. I am still trying to justify whether it is healthy being 'emo' occasionally. Some people think it's bad because it may lead to all sorts of psychological problems like mental break downs and depressio?!. But I suppose a small dose of 'emo'ness doesn't do much harm? And also, I do believe that 'emo'ness is one of the source of inspiration to most writers' and artists' works ;).

Anyhow, the ups and downs of my emotions is having an effect on me. I am losing grip on injecting positive energy to myself and those around me. Someone once said ... "It's not all about me"...I do admit that I tend lose myself sometimes. I have people whom I care about that I neglected. Time to bin those uninviting negative feelings! And also, time to stop being frustrated of whatever happens. "Take responsibility" as Susan Jeffers says, and reclaim my power!!!

Where Is Everyone?

There has been a lot going on the past week or so. The traffic lights has suddenly turned green. And I have to proceed. An undecisive Nico suddenly have to make loads of decisions for herself. I know those who care about me are with me on the whole transition, it's not fair to say this, but it just felt like I am all alone on the case all of a sudden cos everyone's so far away. Well, I guess there are just decisions that I have to make myself. Why is Nico suddenly became so dependent? Where is the all-so independent her that others use to be surprised about? A sign to pick myself up, crawl out of the cocoon and face the ugly world! The responsibilities of being a grown up is never to be undermined!

I suppose I am concerned because I care about what others think of my decisions as well. Oh well, another lesson to learn - be confident of your choices. No matter what happens, I promise myself to embrace it. I believe luck is on my side. Be brave!

Keep on believing! ... these are just what I need:

The same song by 3 artists in 3 languagues respectively.

• Letter - Angela Aki
• 劉若英 - 給十五歲的自己
• 鍾舒漫-給自己的信

Opposite Attracts?

And so they say...opposite attracts...

I can't believe I googled for "opposite attracts" and ended up reading an article on dating tips...

Quotes:

Stubbornness in a relationship where opposites attract will bring about disastrous results. Being open and open-minded, with a strong ability from both people to compromise, can create an environment of security and contentment amongst opposites.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

1) Can you live with the differences or would you rather share your time with someone who likes and wants similar things that you do?

2) What is the foundation of your relationship based on?

3) Does being opposite create conflicts in your relationship?

4) What is it about the differences that you find exciting and stimulating?

5) Are you both great communicators with the ability to compromise?

6) Do you find that being opposites help compliment the relationship versus bringing conflict?

Being opposites can work if they are complimentary to the relationship and both people are open-minded with the ability to compromise when needed. Not having those abilities could create potential conflict leading to a bitter breakup. You need to analyze which category your relationship falls into. Good luck

All the luck I need indeed!?

Easter 2010

It was a chilling long weekend for Nico's 2010 Easter break. Friday morning was occupied by Easter treat baking for the BF. Only the chocolate mini muffins made it. The normal mango vanilla ones failed miserably. I knew it was a bad idea but didn't realise it turned out that bad because the centre doesn't seem to cook properly due to the mango puree. Anyway, luckily the chocolate ones turned out reasonably well.

Had dim sum for lunch later the day and watched Clash of Titans in 3D. It was a so-so movie. Not too great, maybe because we kind of expected too much before the movie. Even Sam Worthington's performance was not as good as he was in Avatar. He had very limited dialogue, and again, maybe he just need to look good in his spartan suit, showing off his muscles.

Got down to Wembley on Saturday just to check out the new Pacific Plaza which is suppose to be something like the closed down Oriental City. Only the food court and some shops were open. The oriental supermarket is not open yet. We tried some malaysian food at the food court. The curry laksa and the mamak mee goreng were quite decent. But the satay was not authentic enough. There were quite a variety of asian food stalls - korean, japanese, chinese dim sum and roast mixes etc. I'd say the food there is ok but not a place you will go specifically if you need an oriental meal fix. There are better restaurants in central london. The most interesting shop would be the Japanese bakery - Tetote factory - bought a melon bun, a fig and orange bun and a brioche to try - but missed the adzuki buns cos they were sold out.

Another lazy Sunday was spent "productively" in Bolnhurst with a yummy Sunday roast lunch at The Plough. Now that I am actually blogging about this place that I found out it's actually run by Martin Lee (he's one of Raymond Blanc's trained chef). A very cosy and lovely pub indeed with posh patrons and of course - high quality british food - especially the delicious rhubarb crumble!!! :)). What could be more heavenly than beautifully presented food sourced from fresh local produce and a meal with complimentary warm home made bread! Plus, it was a nice drive at the country side with only blue skies, green fields and cute cottages in sight - out of all the polution and crowd of the city.

So how is life treating Nico so far?...It felt like Nico's been abducted to lala land this easter weekend. There is quite a lot things floating around my mind to ponder about. But suddenly it just felt that no matter how much I think about them, it is not going to change much of reality. Thus, Nico's decided that there is no point thinking so much, and to fully enjoy every moment of happiness, bravely embrace every pinch of misery. It's only a few more hours to go before Nico has to face reality again. Time to wake up!

April Fools Day Ponder

I wonder sometimes what am I doing to my life right now...

Can life be more pointless than this?

There are some things that doesn't feel right at the moment

I don't know what it is or what they are...

How many times do I need to tell myself tomorrow will be a better day

How many times do I need to remind myself I need to be brave

How many times do I need recall the promises I made to myself to focus...

...too many times...

Nearly end of March Update

Last w/e...

Met up with JL for lunch at Ten Ten Tei. It's been a while since I last saw him! So jealous that he gets to go back home again for 2 weeks. If only I have a job that involves more travelling, that'll be fun!

Then wandered around Regent St and Selfridges with Kev before having dinner at Viet Grill near Old Street. Really good Vietnamese food!!! And good ambience too!!! Highly recommended!!! These are what we ordered:

• Các món rang mu i (Chilli salt and pepper squid) - the first few pieces were a bit too salty for me but it's good - A*
• Canh c i n u tôm Seasonal bok choy greens in fragrant broth tofu - really yummy broth!!! A*
• Cà tím n ng ‘Piggy Grilled Aubergine’ with scallion pork in tangy sweet and sour sauce - really like the sauce, light and appetising! - A**
• Sake Lamb skewer BBQ cubed leg of lamb, with cumin and fennel, flavoured up with a touch of vietnamese sake - still good but the rest are better - A :)

We also ordered plain noodles with bean-sprouts and onion and surprisingly it's not plain at all! It's like a proper fried noodle dish itself!!! Satisfying Vietnamese meal :)

Went to YF's house warming party afterwards. Was only drinking and chatting...quite relaxing...I'd say they did a good job furnishing the place...plus the 37 inch TV is brilliant!

Come Monday, I was dreading myself to work. But it turns out the day wasn't that bad after all. Manage to deploy some fixes and do some proper work without being hassled by users.

p.s...The current chapter of Nico's life is about to end and a new one yet to begin...stay tuned...