Feeling Poetic

If there is one thing in the world that triggers Nico's emotional turbulent nature, it would be the occasional conversations with the dearest mummy. I must say, almost every mum in the world never fails to remind you of the things you should be doing next in your life. And this makes Nico ponders about life again.

Sometimes you feel loved...

You smiled and cherished the company of your loved ones...

Sometimes you hated and cried...

That is the times when you enemied the entire world...

And then material came on stage...

He tries to pollute feelings...

Backed by the bonus pay cheque you earned...

With sweat and hard work...

He made feelings worthless...

Feelings fight back with priceless as its ultimate weapon...

Reality interrupts, tries to find peace and dissolve the dispute

...

So what does life means to you?

Where have the year gone

After an almost 10 adequate days of no work, chilling out and spending time with loved ones, Nico already envisioned herself having the holiday withdrawal syndrome by bed time tonight.

So what have I been up to in Nov and Dec 2010 -

Started off Nov with a weekend getaway to Milan. We booked about 2 months in advanced and got ourselves a 160 quid package for easyjet + 4 star hotel mediolanum package from Expedia - pretty good deal. Milan is not that big a city. The only magnificent building and the prettiest sight in town has to be the Duomo in central. Spent the first day going around thecity visiting the duomo piazza, galleria vittorio emanuele ii, had GROM gelato, aperitivo and take a detour to naviglio grande which turns out to be quite dead and not as scenic as we thought - the economy in Europe definitely has an impact in this fashionable city. Take a day trip out to Lake Como which is really beautiful. We had lunch by the lake - the octopus carpaccio was heavenly :)). Got back into town in time to grab tickets to the Inter Milan match at San Siro. I've never watched a match live in my life - this is the first. And of course I am not as enthusiastic as *someone* but it makes me happy when others are. The following day is reserved for exploring the Fashion District - Montenapoleone - where all the designer brands are - unfortunately it was a Sunday and thus most of the shops were shut - well not like I was planning on grabbing a Gucci bag or Prada heels anyway :P.

Rest of month and the following were spent on going to farewell drinks and parties, dinners with

friends, christmas lunches and dinners with colleagues, constructive time spent with the BF - cooking or / and dining out - Taste of Christmas @ Excel, Dovetail, Koya, Byron

and of course Pearl Liang to "celebrate" the first day we know each other (lol) :) etc.

By the end of Nov, the weather turned evil. It started snowing early this year and weather has not been warmer since. Although I enjoyed the pretty sight of the snow, slush and ice are the worst aftermath.

And then comes christmas - the long awaited vacation.

Had a lovely time just chilling out with the BF ... watching dvds, playing Sims, baking savoury muffins and had 2 attempts on

the japanese cheese cake, roast a turkey for our christmas dinner and had the turkey leftovers for the next 3 days, attempt to make Nico's best scrambled eggs :P, roasting chestnuts and be a chipmunk (chestnut sponge cake from royal china is really yummy :)), grabbing some after xmas sales deals and shopping with friends, bratwurst, mulled wine and profiteroles from the Winter Wonderland Christmas Market, New Year's Eve dinner @ Mahgreb Moroccan Place up the road, 50% off food bill for lunch @ Tsunami, and finally, taking care of the ill BF and paying a visit to the A&E first time in my life!

All in all, I am not sure if I have made any progress in thinking of the direction of Nico's life this year. But there are some vague resolutions across the horizon for the new year ahead and perhaps Nico would like to think that she has matured in one way or another :). Someone says happiness is only real when shared. I'd say fun is only real when shared :). Finally, Nico would like to wish you all a very happy new year, be strong and however lost you are, just remember to follow the "light" ;).

Post Summer Update

I have abandoned by blog again, I must confessed. I suppose it's not too bad a crime since it just shows how busy I was the past few weeks.

Rewinding...

October had been a busy month indeed. To start off, my trip to India, a total eye opening trip which pretty much changed my perception of the world a little bit ... yea just a little :P. I won't say I will not go back, in fact, I hope the next time I do go back, I'll see a much better state of the country. The trip does make me realise why ppl like Gandhi and Mother Teresa exists. It's a completely different world out there. And I now have greater motivation to do more charity work :P ... yet to be one of my new year resolution !

Rest of the October? ...

Highlight was welcoming The BF home :) ...

Had a lovely welcoming back lunch at Artisan, The Westbury ...

Such an amazing deal due to London's Restaurant Week ... such a brilliant meal with N numbers of complimentary dishes.

Busy busy at work,

Had been doing weekend releases for the last 3 weeks including today... stayed in the office till 10pm for the first time, due to waiting for Chicago users to finish testing ... Got myself a mentor which I haven't been that good at keeping in touch with yet ... finally had a chance to try out the massive cafeteria at RC ... and of course, welcoming the grand new opening of One New Change, a mall a couple of mins walk from my office!!! More lunch time shopping! Wohoo! ... etc ...

Finally bought the iphone!!!

But haven't have much time to play with it yet due to work commitments ... how sad ... but enjoying the fact that I have now unlimited text on my tariff...

And I don't need to get the new nano :P ...

Other stuff ... had been going to quite a few of the stuff going on in London while it's still summer - Thames Festival, Design week - Tent London, Matsuri Festival and then ex-colleague's leaving due ... who is quitting to go travelling in the down under ... surprised how many had started leaving after I left ... felt strange to see my other ex-colleagues again ... just like the old days ... still couldn't have imagined how I stayed 4 years back in old Hatfield, LZ's visit in London again ...had a brief catch up during lunch near St. Pauls. Friend's birthday parties ... food overloaded, wedding invites which I have to politely decline invitation of although I would have very much loved to attend - sounds like it's a good wed month!, cooked rendang for The BF ... my second attempt on the dish ... I'm yet to perfect it!, made red bean and coconut milk agar - agar to a pot luck party ... etc etc ...

Got another hair cut and colour touch up yesterday ....

Next stop...MILAN! and of course, XMAS ! ... stay tuned ;)

9 years...90 days

Today mark the 9th year I have been in the UK. I arrived Heathrow 9 years ago today, filled with anxiety and uncertainty, just like a kitten about to be let loose into the world of independence - almost unwillingly because of a tinge of fear for being away from home.

Still remember vividly the smell of fresh yet chilly and foreign breath of air as I stepped out of the arrival hall. Now that I am sitting comfortably in my lovely Ikea eggy chair in my flat in London, recalling those very moments, I couldn't deny how much things have changed, personally and also everything else around me.

The news coverage airing on the hotel room TV couldn't have been more dramatic that day - and that definitely changed pretty much a lot of things in the world. As for me, I realised I've signed up for a never ending road trip...to independence and more uncertainties. But I am glad that the fear had subsided and these 9 precious years have definitely trained me well to be stronger me - or at least I would like to think that I have :).

The computer log on screen at work had been counting down the days for me too. Today is also the 90th day since I started my new job. It's just a wonder how amazing one can adapt to life.

The 30 minute walk to work that I thought could be dreadful has become somewhat a refreshing activity to wake me up every morning. The apprehension of being in a completely new and different environment has somewhat become all so familiar. The heavier work load (sometimes) and longer hours (only by a bit) are not as bad as it seems - the mocha from the tea point's coffee machine, lunch by the fountain in the square and okonomiyaki from wasabi almost manage to cheer me up most of the time.

It also feels so surreal yet to walk out of the office and realise I am actually surrounded by the majestic St Paul's cathedral and Victorian buildings blending in with the glassy contemporary office buildings. It feels uptown, if not pretentious. But it always never fails to remind myself that I've bagged another piece of valuable experience to my collection.

So hey, let's drive on...

Counselling oneself

The 8th of June 2010 me reminded me to live life as it is. How ironic the past me is the most effective counsellor...

I really hope I can convince myself to do better...

Re Mdm Yap's comment, thank you for the moral support! We'll fight this battle together and remember to just shout when you needed anything. I might be across the Atlantic, but the sound of friendship travels faster than any other things in the universe!

The dreading 3rd week of July

Last w/e spent productively in my continued mission to hunt down bargains for all so needed work clothes before the summer sales ends. Met up with LZ and her bro who was in London for the w/e and had dinner at Dehesa. Too bad we didn't have enough time to fit in a homey Msian meal as they wanted to.

Also allocated slots in my w/e s to VC with the BF. LD is definitely not new to me. But for some reason, I felt it being so much harder than my previous experience. Am I being more needy now? Has it got anything to do with aging maybe? LOL...or is it actually a good sign that I am feeling so? This month, admittedly, seems to be the longest month I've ever been in - firstly I am still waiting for this month's pay to feel I am in a better position financially - since I am still recovering from all the move etc, secondly, I am so looking fwd to Oct to come. Tbh, I don't think I am able to do LD anymore. I blame it on the age, or maybe bad experience :P.

This w/e was Ottolenghi brunch and Inception after with hsemate. Again, food lovers like us tend to make the same mistake of over ordering again and again and again. I had the Egg and Courgette bake which was really good! Packed the rest of the bread board that we couldn't have finish. But too bad we can't really bring the jar of yummy banana jam home :). During the movie, there was a few minutes of interruption. Initially we thought it was part of the show, but apparently it was a genuine fault of the cinema. After the show, they gave us a free voucher to claim a free ticket next time due to the inconvenience. Nice! The movie was quite good. A very interesting concept indeed! Aww now I want to design my own dreams!

Also went up to MK to collect and sort out mails for the BF. Wandered around MK Shopping centre for an hour or so before heading back to LDN. One exciting discovery though is that I found Kookai!!! I miss it so much now that they don't have any in LDN. That said, I didn't get anything - I need to clear out my cc bill first!

The week had been ok at work. Went to a couple of talks - pensions, technology community update and performance reviews etc. Only visited the gym twice this week. Aiming to do 3 next week :). Had lunch with a bunch of other new joiners on Wed and a another bunch of summer interns on Thurs. I guess that is the advantage of working in a bigger company, more events, more people, more opportunities to do different things - instead of sitting in front of the screen programming 8 hours a day. I have more thoughts than this, but I don't think I should go into details - the only thing I would like to remind myself is that, I've come too far to slack off - it's time to continue climbing the ever so high fleet of stairs after a good rest. A good cup of 'yin yeung' is what I need to keep on pushing!

Last post, I mentioned I have been thinking a lot of what I am actually doing with my life now. It's surprising how many other ppl I've talked to are feeling the same. I know at least I am not alone. But I do wish these dear friends of mine will find their 'direction' of life some day soon. If there is a meteor to visit this part of the earth tonight, I will wish for that one day when everything just fits and fall into place nicely...

*The 'fertitily' tarot card says I should be patient. I guess it's a good enough piece of advice to stay happy. Pressure from external forces can be suffocating some times. But from an optimist's point of view, these forces do inject a reasonable amount of motivation and project positive energy to a certain degree.

A random peek into my life...

W/e spent with a lovely brunch @ the Breakfast Club in Hoxton with couz and frens, a random stroll around spitalfields mrkt, a discovery of Thai Ann oriental supermarket right off Chapel Market, and of course, the World Cup finals...I am enjoying the trips down to Chapel Market to pick up some cheap and fresh produce...Wonder when I will get bored on London...

4 working weeks down, and the challenges of work is significantly increasing. How I wish I will wake up one day knowing everything about the financial markets! I heard a lot of ppl telling me it will just click one day. I am still eagerly anticipating that one day to come ... asap!

It's that day in life where I have time to ponder about life again. Some times I still wonder what I am doing with my life.

It's that feeling that you've longing to buy that all so expensive pair of heels displayed on the window of that vintage boutique shop. And then you finally saved enough to bring it home, wore it the first time for that special night, and neatly place it back into the wooden chest shoe box that comes with it... then what's next...This is how I felt July 2010, after everything that has had happened the first half of the year. Classic...it's the classic feeling of desire and "disinclination"...

Work and weekends,

Can life be more meaningful that this?

Family so distant, friendship so fragile,

Is that sign of growing up and taking responsibility for oneself?

Wedding invites, baby showers,

Am I just being the tortoise in the race with the hare?

Wishes under the meteor that came true,

Are they a blessing or otherwise?

...now back to short selling and ex dividend dates...