Counselling oneself

The 8th of June 2010 me reminded me to live life as it is. How ironic the past me is the most effective counsellor...

I really hope I can convince myself to do better...

Re Mdm Yap's comment, thank you for the moral support! We'll fight this battle together and remember to just shout when you needed anything. I might be across the Atlantic, but the sound of friendship travels faster than any other things in the universe!

The dreading 3rd week of July

Last w/e spent productively in my continued mission to hunt down bargains for all so needed work clothes before the summer sales ends. Met up with LZ and her bro who was in London for the w/e and had dinner at Dehesa. Too bad we didn't have enough time to fit in a homey Msian meal as they wanted to.

Also allocated slots in my w/e s to VC with the BF. LD is definitely not new to me. But for some reason, I felt it being so much harder than my previous experience. Am I being more needy now? Has it got anything to do with aging maybe? LOL...or is it actually a good sign that I am feeling so? This month, admittedly, seems to be the longest month I've ever been in - firstly I am still waiting for this month's pay to feel I am in a better position financially - since I am still recovering from all the move etc, secondly, I am so looking fwd to Oct to come. Tbh, I don't think I am able to do LD anymore. I blame it on the age, or maybe bad experience :P.

This w/e was Ottolenghi brunch and Inception after with hsemate. Again, food lovers like us tend to make the same mistake of over ordering again and again and again. I had the Egg and Courgette bake which was really good! Packed the rest of the bread board that we couldn't have finish. But too bad we can't really bring the jar of yummy banana jam home :). During the movie, there was a few minutes of interruption. Initially we thought it was part of the show, but apparently it was a genuine fault of the cinema. After the show, they gave us a free voucher to claim a free ticket next time due to the inconvenience. Nice! The movie was quite good. A very interesting concept indeed! Aww now I want to design my own dreams!

Also went up to MK to collect and sort out mails for the BF. Wandered around MK Shopping centre for an hour or so before heading back to LDN. One exciting discovery though is that I found Kookai!!! I miss it so much now that they don't have any in LDN. That said, I didn't get anything - I need to clear out my cc bill first!

The week had been ok at work. Went to a couple of talks - pensions, technology community update and performance reviews etc. Only visited the gym twice this week. Aiming to do 3 next week :). Had lunch with a bunch of other new joiners on Wed and a another bunch of summer interns on Thurs. I guess that is the advantage of working in a bigger company, more events, more people, more opportunities to do different things - instead of sitting in front of the screen programming 8 hours a day. I have more thoughts than this, but I don't think I should go into details - the only thing I would like to remind myself is that, I've come too far to slack off - it's time to continue climbing the ever so high fleet of stairs after a good rest. A good cup of 'yin yeung' is what I need to keep on pushing!

Last post, I mentioned I have been thinking a lot of what I am actually doing with my life now. It's surprising how many other ppl I've talked to are feeling the same. I know at least I am not alone. But I do wish these dear friends of mine will find their 'direction' of life some day soon. If there is a meteor to visit this part of the earth tonight, I will wish for that one day when everything just fits and fall into place nicely...

*The 'fertitily' tarot card says I should be patient. I guess it's a good enough piece of advice to stay happy. Pressure from external forces can be suffocating some times. But from an optimist's point of view, these forces do inject a reasonable amount of motivation and project positive energy to a certain degree.

A random peek into my life...

W/e spent with a lovely brunch @ the Breakfast Club in Hoxton with couz and frens, a random stroll around spitalfields mrkt, a discovery of Thai Ann oriental supermarket right off Chapel Market, and of course, the World Cup finals...I am enjoying the trips down to Chapel Market to pick up some cheap and fresh produce...Wonder when I will get bored on London...

4 working weeks down, and the challenges of work is significantly increasing. How I wish I will wake up one day knowing everything about the financial markets! I heard a lot of ppl telling me it will just click one day. I am still eagerly anticipating that one day to come ... asap!

It's that day in life where I have time to ponder about life again. Some times I still wonder what I am doing with my life.

It's that feeling that you've longing to buy that all so expensive pair of heels displayed on the window of that vintage boutique shop. And then you finally saved enough to bring it home, wore it the first time for that special night, and neatly place it back into the wooden chest shoe box that comes with it... then what's next...This is how I felt July 2010, after everything that has had happened the first half of the year. Classic...it's the classic feeling of desire and "disinclination"...

Work and weekends,

Can life be more meaningful that this?

Family so distant, friendship so fragile,

Is that sign of growing up and taking responsibility for oneself?

Wedding invites, baby showers,

Am I just being the tortoise in the race with the hare?

Wishes under the meteor that came true,

Are they a blessing or otherwise?

...now back to short selling and ex dividend dates...

June 2010

Almost a month since I've moved in my new place now. I can say I think I have now filled in all the 'incompleteness' of my room today after a brief second trip to Ikea :). I finally got the chair I always wanted!!! :)))

3rd week into my new job ... everything's ok so far I'd say. Quite proud of myself to be so motivated to walk to work everyday. Had been trying out different routes to beat my 27 minutes, but with no avail so far. On the bright side, I am also starting to explore the area a lil more. For e.g, Necco Jap Cafe discovery made my Friday evening! I do enjoy the convenience of the city and the benefits working in such an established organisation - all the training and subsidised incentives! But of course, it's not without any hard work - all that I am looking fwd too (yea right :P)

A week to the BF not around. Time just seem to pass so slowly... October seems so far away :(. All of a sudden I felt all so lonely again (some times) - you can so tell when I have time to update my blog :P

All in all June 2010 were filled with QT with the BF, celebrating birthdays, BBQ, watching footie, summer sales shopping, soaking in the sunshine, although not quite enjoying the heat that much, trying to settle in life working in the city and wearing skirts to work of course :P